Right now, my life is at fork and there are two paths in front of me. I know which is the better of the two, but I keep heading down the wrong one. I want to go smoke pot and drink and ignore responsibilities even though I know it's a bad decision. I keep thinking it's okay for me at this point in my life because that's the age I'm at. I know if I keep acting the way that I am, I'm going to end up on the wrong path for the rest of my life. I have this scary image of being some loser stoner who does nothing with their life. I'm a creative writing major so it's not like I have job security for the future. When I was with James, he actually prevented me from doing these things because I knew he disagreed with them. Now I don't have somebody in my life to tell me that. My mother does, but who listens to their parents when we know they're right? I just need some positive influence(s) in my life to tell me "No," ones that I'll listen to. I'm just scared of making the wrong decisions and doing nothing with the rest of my life because of it.